New thoughts!? Maybe...

So today being that I once again did not have class because they were cancelled due to the weather, I thought I would hang out at Panera and read for a while. I sat there reading for a while, and even though I had read this book many times before, it hit me so hard once again.

I have been reading through Blue Like Jazz for a couple weeks now only reading a chapter here and there in between lectures, or before bed. Near the end of the book though, I couldn't get enough. So being that I had the day, I made sure to really take the time to sit and really take it all in.

There are a few chapters that really get straight to my heart. Yes, most of them are near the back, the part I will make sure to sit and not get up until I read through them. I could go through and tell you about all of them, but I'm going to point out only one of them. Love: How to Really Love Yourself. It really is an amazing chapter, that may seem so simple, but for whatever reason it seems like a new concept to me. One of the things that really stuck with me is when Don is talking to a friend of his and he says to her, "'I know that God loves me.' And I did know, I just didn't believe." Oh man how true that is! I know in my head that God loves me, but to believe in my heart, now that is a whole other story. It is as if there is a massive wall from my head to my heart, and that very little can actually get through. No, I take that back, it's not a wall so much as a break in the line; it's still partially connected, but only barely, and only a few things find the small pathway through.

"I have come to understand that strength, inner strength, comes from receiving love as much as it comes from giving it." This is a huge thing! I am the person that is always giving, and doesn't even think twice about how I receive love. I know that it is a struggle for me that I graciously receive love, and something I am constantly working at. One more thing, "God's love will never change us if we don't accept it." If I really want to change how I interact with people and how people see Jesus in me, I need to accept God's love. God is love, so if I am rejecting His love, I am rejecting Him. Wow, there's a thought! I think I'll go marinate with that for a while. Over and out!

Lo!